🌉🐱 Chad, Agaricus, and the Bridge Troll 🐱🌉
One sunny afternoon, the RV Guardians discovered something exciting.
Beyond a small river stood a beautiful green meadow.
The grass looked softer.
The flowers looked brighter.
And sitting in the middle of the meadow was a giant picnic basket overflowing with food.
Tuna sandwiches.
Salmon pastries.
Fish crackers.
Catnip cookies.
And a giant bowl of cream.
Chad’s eyes grew huge.
“We have to go over there.”
Agaricus Bisporus nodded.
“For scientific reasons.”
Echo looked at the picnic.
“I support science.”
Che-Ni-Mon looked at the bridge nervously.
“I have concerns.”
Lily looked at the bridge.
Then underneath it.
Then frowned.
“Something lives under there.”
The cats slowly peeked over the edge.
A giant troll sat beneath the bridge.
The troll had messy hair.
Big teeth.
A grumpy face.
And an even grumpier attitude.
Suddenly he burst from beneath the bridge.
🌉👹
“I AM THE BRIDGE TROLL!”
“AND I’M GOING TO EAT ANY CAT WHO TRIES TO CROSS!”
The kittens jumped backward.
Che-Ni-Mon jumped backward the farthest.
“We should leave.”
“We should absolutely not leave,” said Chad.
“We have a picnic to reach.”
The troll crossed his arms.
“Only the biggest and strongest cat is worth eating.”
The cats huddled together.
Agaricus thought for a moment.
Then smiled.
“I have an idea.”
“What?” asked Chad.
“We send the smallest first.”
“That’s me.”
“Exactly.”
Chad puffed out his chest.
“I shall bravely volunteer.”
“You volunteered before I finished talking.”
A few moments later Chad stepped onto the bridge.
Clip-clop.
Clip-clop.
The troll burst out.
“WHO CROSSES MY BRIDGE?!”
Chad nearly jumped into the river.
“I do!”
The troll grinned.
“Excellent.”
“Excellent?”
“I’ve been hungry all day.”
The troll licked his lips.
“And you look like a snack.”
Chad froze.
“You can’t eat me!”
“Why not?”
“Because…”
Chad looked around desperately.
Then pointed toward the RV.
“My sister is bigger than me!”
The troll peeked around Chad.
“She is?”
“Oh yeah.”
The troll rubbed his chin.
“Hmm.”
“I do like bigger snacks.”
“See?”
“Fine.”
The troll pointed dramatically.
“Send the bigger one.”
And Chad happily scampered across.
“It worked!”
Next came Agaricus Bisporus.
Clip-clop.
Clip-clop.
The troll appeared again.
“WHO CROSSES MY BRIDGE?!”
“Agaricus Bisporus.”
The troll blinked.
“That’s a very long name.”
“Thank you.”
The troll smiled.
“You look delicious.”
Agaricus blinked.
“That is both rude and concerning.”
The troll shrugged.
“I am a troll.”
Agaricus pointed behind her.
“You should probably wait for the next cat.”
“Why?”
“Trust me.”
The troll thought.
Then nodded.
“Okay.”
And he let her cross.
Next came Che-Ni-Mon.
The older cat took exactly three steps onto the bridge before becoming nervous.
Then two more.
Then one.
Then she considered turning around.
The troll emerged.
“WHO CROSSES MY BRIDGE?!”
Che-Ni-Mon screamed.
“AHHHHH!”
The troll screamed.
“AHHHHH!”
Both screamed for several seconds.
Nobody knew why.
Eventually the troll stopped.
“Are you done?”
“Maybe.”
The troll looked confused.
“Are you the biggest?”
Che-Ni-Mon immediately pointed behind her.
“Oh absolutely not.”
The troll sighed.
“Fine.”
Che-Ni-Mon hurried across the bridge as fast as her paws could carry her.
Next came Echo.
Echo strolled onto the bridge like she owned it.
The troll emerged.
“WHO CROSSES MY BRIDGE?!”
The troll looked her over.
“YOU must be the biggest.”
Echo smiled.
“Actually…”
She stretched her paws.
“…I am.”
The troll’s eyes lit up.
“Excellent!”
Echo’s grin only grew wider.
“But I’m also the fastest.”
The troll blinked.
“And the most agile.”
The troll blinked again.
“And you’re going to have to catch me first.”
Before the troll could react, Echo darted forward.
WHOOSH!
She slipped between his legs.
ZIP!
She bounced onto the bridge railing.
BOING!
She leapt onto a rock.
Then another.
Then another.
The troll spun around trying to follow her.
Too late.
Echo was already halfway across the bridge.
The troll stumbled.
Turned.
Slipped.
Turned again.
By the time he reached the other side, Echo was casually cleaning a paw.
The troll collapsed in exhaustion.
“How…”
he panted.
“…did you do that?”
Echo smiled.
“Years of avoiding Lilly.”
The troll nodded.
“Fair.”
Echo stood and started walking toward the meadow.
Then she paused.
“Oh!”
The troll looked up hopefully.
“There’s still one more.”
The troll’s eyes widened.
“There is?”
Echo pointed toward the bridge.
Where Lily was calmly approaching.
Echo’s smile became mischievous.
“Good luck with Lily.”
Then she trotted away.
For the first time all day…
The troll felt nervous.
Lily stepped onto the bridge.
Clip-clop.
Clip-clop.
The troll emerged one final time.
Then immediately regretted it.
Lily simply stared at him.
The same look she used whenever Chad and Agaricus had clearly done something ridiculous.
The troll suddenly felt very small.
“You are the biggest.”
he admitted.
“Yes.”
said Lily.
Silence.
More silence.
The troll cleared his throat.
“I was going to eat you.”
Lily raised an eyebrow.
“Were you?”
“No.”
“Good choice.”
The troll immediately stepped aside.
“I suddenly don’t feel hungry anymore.”
A few minutes later all five cats reached the picnic meadow.
The picnic was even better than they imagined.
Fresh tuna sandwiches.
Salmon pastries.
Chicken treats.
Tiny fish crackers.
Catnip cookies.
And a giant bowl of cream.
Chad’s jaw dropped.
“We’ve found paradise.”
Agaricus nodded.
“Scientific confirmation. This is paradise.”
The cats charged.
Tuna disappeared.
Cookies vanished.
Fish crackers mysteriously evaporated.
Nobody asked questions.
Echo found the salmon pastries.
Che-Ni-Mon discovered the cream bowl and immediately forgot she had ever been scared.
Even Lily smiled.
A little.
Back at the bridge, the troll watched them feast.
His stomach growled.
Very loudly.
The cats looked over.
Then Chad grabbed a tuna sandwich.
Agaricus grabbed a cookie.
Echo carried a salmon pastry.
Che-Ni-Mon carefully pushed a bowl of cream.
Lily carried the rest.
Together they crossed back over the bridge.
The troll blinked.
“For me?”
“Of course,” said Chad.
“You did let us cross.”
The troll took a bite.
His eyes widened.
“This is better than eating cats.”
“Obviously.”
said Agaricus.
And from that day forward, the troll guarded the bridge and ate picnic food instead of travelers.
Though he still occasionally shouted:
“WHO CROSSES MY BRIDGE?!”
Mostly because he thought it sounded cool.
That evening, the cats returned to the RV with full bellies and happy hearts.
And somewhere behind them, a bridge troll sat smiling beside his bridge with a tuna sandwich in one hand and a bowl of cream in the other.
🌙🐱 Chad
🌙🐱 Agaricus Bisporus
🌙🐱 Echo
🌙🐱 Che-Ni-Mon
🌙🐱 Lily
🌉👹 The Bridge Troll
The End
🌙✨🐾
“Sometimes the scariest creatures aren’t looking for a fight. Sometimes they’re just hungry.” 💙🐟🌉
